Last year, our family took the plunge into the world of fantasy football. I’ll admit, I didn’t know what I was doing, I still don’t, but that didn’t stop me from jumping in with both feet. We had five of us in the league, plus my son’s girlfriend and my daughter’s fiancé, and let me tell you, the trash talking started before the first kickoff and didn’t let up all season.

It wasn’t just about football. It was about bargaining, trades that were almost personal, and the occasional bribe (I’m not naming names, but somebody offered baked goods in exchange for a running back). I relied heavily on a cheat sheet from a Chicago weather person last year, you know, because apparently they predict more than just snow squalls. This year? I decided to wing it. A little research, a lot of gut instinct, and, full disclosure, drafting players with the most unique names. If your name sounded like you belonged in a video game or a Marvel movie, you probably made my roster.

Will I keep them? That’s questionable. Chances are, I’ll trade half my team before Week 6, if I remember to set my lineup every week. That’s the beauty of fantasy football: it’s part strategy, part chaos, and part blind luck.

Year Two: Bigger, Louder, and a Whole Lot More Trash Talking

This year, we expanded. My brother’s family joined the league, bringing us to 11 players. My niece and nephew wasted no time jumping into the smack talk, which is both impressive and mildly terrifying. It’s one thing to be roasted by your kids; it’s another to get side-eyed by your teenage nephew for drafting a kicker too early, or a quarterback in the first round.  Now I get it: draft the positions that will earn you the most points, such as wide receivers, tight ends, and running backs, early. (I still can’t say tight end without giggling a little like a middle schooler!)

We’re not playing for money, but bragging rights in this family are worth more than cash. My brother has suggested a toilet seat trophy to be worn to family functions. I’m thinking rhinestones and bells for decorations. We’ll see. Somehow, bragging rights just aren’t enough when you have a high school junior’s mouth as an opponent! Sundays (and Mondays, and Thursdays – when did all of this happen?) will take on a whole new meaning, beyond family dinners.

Fantasy football has turned Sunday afternoons into a full-contact sport of its own. Forget the NFL, our family group chat is where the real drama unfolds.

I may not be a fantasy football expert (I’m still trying to master the whole bye week puzzle), but I am an expert at enjoying the chaos and sometimes starting it. It’s become a family tradition I look forward to, laughter, rivalries, and the occasional accidental benching of my top scorer because I forgot to double-check my lineup.

So here we go: season one of the newly expanded Prioriello-Wilson Family Fantasy Football League. I’m armed with questionable strategies, a love of ridiculous player names, and just enough competitive spirit to keep things interesting. The trash-talking has already started, the trades will soon follow, and I can’t wait to see how it all plays out.

Bring on the touchdowns, the heartbreaks, and the desperate Sunday night Hail Marys. May the best (and most organized) family member win.

Fun Facts I’ve Learned About Fantasy Football

• The average fantasy football player spends nine hours a week managing their team. I feel like I should be spending nine hours a week meal-prepping or doing yoga, but instead I’m googling “best sleeper tight ends” and trying to figure out if a bye week is a curse or just a scheduling inconvenience.
• More than 50 million people in North America play fantasy sports. That’s a lot of people willingly choosing stress and heartbreak as a hobby.
• Trades are the lifeblood of a league. In our house, it’s less about stats and more about who can craft the most convincing text message.