I will die on this hill: the original Christmas carols are undefeated. You cannot improve perfection, and every December, some well-meaning artist proves this by trying anyway. The minute someone adds a beat drop, a dramatic pause, or an unnecessary vocal run to a sacred classic, the whole thing collapses like a bad ornament hook. Just sing the song. The way it was written. The way it survived hundreds of years without your “interpretation.”

And yes, I’m still annoyed about the brief cultural tantrum that tried to get Baby, It’s Cold Outside canceled because someone decided it was secretly a public service announcement about sexual assault. Ridiculous. It’s a flirtation song from a different era, and Dean Martin’s voice alone could convince a snowstorm to pour a drink and calm down. That song didn’t need defending, but it sure didn’t deserve to be rewritten by committee.

Now, before anyone accuses me of being anti-modern Christmas music, let’s be clear: originality matters. Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas Is You didn’t try to hijack a hymn or “modernize” a carol. It showed up, did its own thing, and became the modern-day equivalent of a traditional Christmas song. That’s how it’s done. The same goes for Happy Christmas (War Is Over), So This Is Christmas, Last Christmas, Britney’s My Only Wish This Year, and Santa Can You Hear Me by Kelly Clarkson and Ariana Grande. These songs earned their place because they weren’t trying to be something else. They stood on their own and stuck the landing.

What makes all of this even funnier is that growing up, Christmas music wasn’t really a thing in our house, except for one sacred exception: Elvis’s Blue Christmas album. My mom adored Elvis, and that record played on repeat every year like it was the law. That’s it. That’s my childhood Christmas soundtrack. No Bing Crosby. No carol marathons. Just Elvis crooning his way through December while the rest of America apparently sang along to songs I didn’t know existed.

Which explains why grade school Christmas programs were always a bit… stressful. Back when schools were still allowed to hold Christmas programs, we sang two songs as a class, then wrapped things up with “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” as the grand finale. In first grade, our song was “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth,” and I remember standing there, feeling wildly out of place. Not because I was missing teeth, or because of the ridiculous giant smile cutouts on popsicle sticks we had to hold in front of our faces during the chorus, but because I didn’t know any of the songs everyone else seemed to absorb by osmosis. We didn’t sing American Christmas music at home. It just wasn’t a thing.

And no, we absolutely did not listen to Dominick the Christmas Donkey. My parents found it demeaning, offensive, and deeply embarrassing. Italian-American stereotypes were not cute or funny in our house. You were either Italian and carried yourself with dignity, or you were a hot-dog-eating, sneaker-wearing American. There was no middle ground. When the holidays, or any random Saturday night, rolled around and the adults started singing, it was traditional songs from their hometowns, or occasionally a church song they’d learned as children. That was the soundtrack. That was the culture.

So maybe that’s why I’m so protective of Christmas music. I like my classics untouched, my modern songs original, and my nostalgia served with a side of humor and honesty. Christmas songs shouldn’t need fixing. They should sound like memories, feel like home, and occasionally make you laugh at how seriously people take them.

Now I’m curious; what songs make your list? Share your favorites in the comments. And let’s not embarrass ourselves. Choose carefully and remember, nothing compares to an original.