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Functioning …. technically
Exhaustion isn’t dramatic. It’s quiet, caffeinated, and deeply unimpressed. This is a low-battery dispatch from a day powered by sarcasm, unfinished coffee, and the stubborn belief that words still matter, even when energy does not. Continue reading
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The Pig Farmers
A sardonic take on parenting, frustration, and the fantasy that raising pigs might have been simpler. Children talk back. Pigs don’t. Somewhere between exhaustion and love, this essay explores why parenting is the most thankless, maddening, and quietly rewarding job there is. Continue reading
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The Idiot Equation
Some days, society feels like a group project led by the least qualified person in the room. Carlo Cipolla saw this coming decades ago with his Five Laws of Stupidity: a set of rules that explain why common sense is rare, chaos thrives, and patience is a non-renewable resource. Continue reading
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The ultimate throne
Maurizio Cattelan’s 18-karat gold toilet, America, is hitting the auction block at Sotheby’s, and it’s hard not to see the symbolism. From satire to social commentary, this absurd masterpiece reflects a culture polished on the outside and fractured within, where even a toilet can tell the story of a nation. Continue reading
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Ghosts, grifters, and Google
From candlelit parlors to Netflix deals, mediums have been cashing in on our curiosity about the spirit world for centuries. This snarky tour through séances, celebrity psychics, and search engines proves that Halloween isn’t just costumes and candy, it’s also a crash course in how humans monetize mystery. Continue reading
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Dragged through Hell (and an old familiar sub-division)
What was supposed to be a calm nature walk turned into three and a half hours of chaos, squirrel warfare, dead zones, and public humiliation. My dog dragged me through hell, the suburbs, and my last shred of dignity, and somehow still had energy to spare. Continue reading
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Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words, and yes, it’s one of the longest words in the dictionary. From Merriam-Webster’s word-nerd rabbit holes to the irony of therapy sessions gone wrong, here’s a witty look at why language can both intimidate and connect us. Continue reading
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Trash can theology
When a group of high school students wrote to Kurt Vonnegut, he answered with an assignment no one expected: write a poem, then shred it. No applause, no grade, no glory. Just creation for its own sake. Here’s why his strange little challenge still matters, and why I’m trying it too. Continue reading
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Attention, please!
From hospital wristbands to “big news coming soon” teasers, vaguebooking has turned social media into a stage for cryptic cries for attention. Whether it’s prayers, applause, or an IYKYK wink, these posts reveal how platforms are stunting adult maturity, reducing grown-ups into teenagers fishing for validation in the digital lunchroom. Continue reading
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Survival of the dumbest
Darwin’s “survival of the fittest” doesn’t hold up in today’s world. These days, it’s the loud, shameless, and downright ridiculous who thrive, while the rest of us pretend not to notice. From grocery store gladiators to Congress playing chicken with paychecks, stupidity isn’t just surviving. It’s immortal. Continue reading
The Creative Quill 