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Our Christmas Trees Are Not Here to Impress (And They Don’t Match the Couch Either)
Our Christmas trees don’t follow trends. They document lives, sports seasons, childhood phases, family losses, and long-running obsessions. Every ornament is a receipt, proof of where we’ve been and what mattered enough to hang year after year. Continue reading
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Dragged through Hell (and an old familiar sub-division)
What was supposed to be a calm nature walk turned into three and a half hours of chaos, squirrel warfare, dead zones, and public humiliation. My dog dragged me through hell, the suburbs, and my last shred of dignity, and somehow still had energy to spare. Continue reading
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The Dog Takes the Fall for Hurricane Husbandus
Fall cleaning exposed Frankenstein’s laundry lab and a linen closet ravaged by Hurricane Husbandus. My husband, naturally, blamed the dog. As I folded sheets and muttered newly created profanities, I wondered: would a tiny house or treehouse fix the chaos, or just trap me with stadium-volume sports, dog drama, and zero escape routes? Continue reading
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Slushies, Turf Wars, and Monkey’s Blood
From sticky cones to turf wars and even a murder or two, the history of ice cream trucks isn’t all sprinkles and smiles. Inspired by a deep dive into the industry’s wild past, here’s my take on why those tinny chimes still send me sprinting to the curb. Continue reading
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Toddler Carpools and Kidz Bop Taylor Swift
Another Sunday, another ulcer. The Bears lose, my neighbors think we’re killing each other, and I’m surviving on Tums and tequila like it’s a balanced diet. Forget new quarterbacks—Halas should cover therapy sessions and alcohol counseling for every fan still masochistic enough to watch. Continue reading
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The Target Trap
What starts as a simple Target run for shampoo and deodorant quickly unravels into a full-blown adventure: the misleading “Dollar” Spot, hypnotic endcaps, the siren call of office supplies, and an Ulta detour that ends with unexpected lip gloss. Proof that no one escapes Target unscathed, or under budget. Continue reading
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E = mc² + Dad = The Theory of Dad-ativity
Albert Einstein wasn’t only the father of relativity, he was a father in the most human sense. In a 1915 letter to his son, he revealed that the true key to learning isn’t pressure or perfection, but joy: doing something you love so much that time seems to disappear. Continue reading
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There Is No Family When a Tight End Is On The Line
Breaking News from the Prioriello-Wilson Family Fantasy Football League: draft-day chaos has spilled into the season. Sources confirm Mom is still drafting by name recognition, nieces are leading the trash talk leaderboard, and Thanksgiving dinner is already “questionable.” Analysts predict record trades, regrettable lineups, and zero family loyalty. Continue reading
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Oatmeal Mondays and Missing Shoes
Back-to-school mornings weren’t routines; they were combat drills. Shoes went missing like fugitives, socks sparked U.N.-level debates, oatmeal morphed into rainbow sludge, and extracurriculars felt like Dante’s eighth circle of hell. Looking back, it was exhausting, hilarious, and pure chaos. But it was our chaos, and somehow, we all managed to survive. Continue reading
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If There’s No Treasure Map, It’s Just a Trip to Costco
Goals are boring adult homework, while quests are where the real fun (and chaos) happens. Goals make you feel like a failure when things go sideways; quests expect the broken bridges, fire-breathing setbacks, and battles. Stop chasing goals and start living like a knight in shining armor. Continue reading
The Creative Quill 