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Functioning …. technically
Exhaustion isn’t dramatic. It’s quiet, caffeinated, and deeply unimpressed. This is a low-battery dispatch from a day powered by sarcasm, unfinished coffee, and the stubborn belief that words still matter, even when energy does not. Continue reading
absurdity, adulting fatigue, burnout, creative burnout, dark humor essays, exhaustion humor, family life, health, humor, humor blog, life, mental-health, modern life, motherhood fatigue, observational humor, personal essay, personal essays, sarcastic writing, tired but funny, writing, writing while tired -
The Pig Farmers
A sardonic take on parenting, frustration, and the fantasy that raising pigs might have been simpler. Children talk back. Pigs don’t. Somewhere between exhaustion and love, this essay explores why parenting is the most thankless, maddening, and quietly rewarding job there is. Continue reading
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Our Christmas Trees Are Not Here to Impress (And They Don’t Match the Couch Either)
Our Christmas trees don’t follow trends. They document lives, sports seasons, childhood phases, family losses, and long-running obsessions. Every ornament is a receipt, proof of where we’ve been and what mattered enough to hang year after year. Continue reading
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Dragged through Hell (and an old familiar sub-division)
What was supposed to be a calm nature walk turned into three and a half hours of chaos, squirrel warfare, dead zones, and public humiliation. My dog dragged me through hell, the suburbs, and my last shred of dignity, and somehow still had energy to spare. Continue reading
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The Dog Takes the Fall for Hurricane Husbandus
Fall cleaning exposed Frankenstein’s laundry lab and a linen closet ravaged by Hurricane Husbandus. My husband, naturally, blamed the dog. As I folded sheets and muttered newly created profanities, I wondered: would a tiny house or treehouse fix the chaos, or just trap me with stadium-volume sports, dog drama, and zero escape routes? Continue reading
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Slushies, Turf Wars, and Monkey’s Blood
From sticky cones to turf wars and even a murder or two, the history of ice cream trucks isn’t all sprinkles and smiles. Inspired by a deep dive into the industry’s wild past, here’s my take on why those tinny chimes still send me sprinting to the curb. Continue reading
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Toddler Carpools and Kidz Bop Taylor Swift
Another Sunday, another ulcer. The Bears lose, my neighbors think we’re killing each other, and I’m surviving on Tums and tequila like it’s a balanced diet. Forget new quarterbacks—Halas should cover therapy sessions and alcohol counseling for every fan still masochistic enough to watch. Continue reading
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The Target Trap
What starts as a simple Target run for shampoo and deodorant quickly unravels into a full-blown adventure: the misleading “Dollar” Spot, hypnotic endcaps, the siren call of office supplies, and an Ulta detour that ends with unexpected lip gloss. Proof that no one escapes Target unscathed, or under budget. Continue reading
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E = mc² + Dad = The Theory of Dad-ativity
Albert Einstein wasn’t only the father of relativity, he was a father in the most human sense. In a 1915 letter to his son, he revealed that the true key to learning isn’t pressure or perfection, but joy: doing something you love so much that time seems to disappear. Continue reading
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There Is No Family When a Tight End Is On The Line
Breaking News from the Prioriello-Wilson Family Fantasy Football League: draft-day chaos has spilled into the season. Sources confirm Mom is still drafting by name recognition, nieces are leading the trash talk leaderboard, and Thanksgiving dinner is already “questionable.” Analysts predict record trades, regrettable lineups, and zero family loyalty. Continue reading
The Creative Quill 