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The Dog Takes the Fall for Hurricane Husbandus
Fall cleaning exposed Frankenstein’s laundry lab and a linen closet ravaged by Hurricane Husbandus. My husband, naturally, blamed the dog. As I folded sheets and muttered newly created profanities, I wondered: would a tiny house or treehouse fix the chaos, or just trap me with stadium-volume sports, dog drama, and zero escape routes? Continue reading
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A Hill Worth Dying On – If You’re Made of Crap
Today proved that natural selection is on sabbatical, and humanity is out here strutting like stupidity is a superpower. Sarcasm abandoned me, common sense flatlined, and stupidity sashayed in sequins, waving like a pageant queen. By mid-morning, I was done. Tonight, I eat like a raccoon in a dumpster and call it coping. Tomorrow, the… Continue reading
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Toddler Carpools and Kidz Bop Taylor Swift
Another Sunday, another ulcer. The Bears lose, my neighbors think we’re killing each other, and I’m surviving on Tums and tequila like it’s a balanced diet. Forget new quarterbacks—Halas should cover therapy sessions and alcohol counseling for every fan still masochistic enough to watch. Continue reading
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The Feed Isn’t the World
: This week was proof that the internet never sleeps, but that doesn’t mean we have to stay up with it. We can scroll past the bitterness, face what matters, and still protect our peace. Quiet moments aren’t weakness, they’re survival. And sometimes survival looks like shutting it all off. Continue reading
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Add to Cart: My Gateway Drug
What starts as a quick Amazon search always spirals into absurdity: “frequently bought together” combos that make no sense, suggested items that test my willpower, and a cart full of things I’ll never actually buy. It’s less shopping and more a master class in temptation, chaos, and zero self-control. Continue reading
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The Target Trap
What starts as a simple Target run for shampoo and deodorant quickly unravels into a full-blown adventure: the misleading “Dollar” Spot, hypnotic endcaps, the siren call of office supplies, and an Ulta detour that ends with unexpected lip gloss. Proof that no one escapes Target unscathed, or under budget. Continue reading
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Tomatoes Don’t Belong in November
Mediterranean grandmothers don’t need wellness gurus; they’ve been outsmarting diet trends for generations. From turning scraps into feasts to laughing through kitchen chaos, their secret recipe for longevity isn’t kale smoothies or pricey supplements. It’s simpler: waste less, eat with the seasons, share everything, and always leave room for a nap. Continue reading
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There Is No Family When a Tight End Is On The Line
Breaking News from the Prioriello-Wilson Family Fantasy Football League: draft-day chaos has spilled into the season. Sources confirm Mom is still drafting by name recognition, nieces are leading the trash talk leaderboard, and Thanksgiving dinner is already “questionable.” Analysts predict record trades, regrettable lineups, and zero family loyalty. Continue reading
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Oatmeal Mondays and Missing Shoes
Back-to-school mornings weren’t routines; they were combat drills. Shoes went missing like fugitives, socks sparked U.N.-level debates, oatmeal morphed into rainbow sludge, and extracurriculars felt like Dante’s eighth circle of hell. Looking back, it was exhausting, hilarious, and pure chaos. But it was our chaos, and somehow, we all managed to survive. Continue reading
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If Monday Had a Flavor, It Would Be Cough Syrup
Mondays have been cursed since the Babylonians named it after the Moon – chaos included. From medieval turnip markets to Victorian “Monday face,” history, psychology, and folklore all agree: Mondays are the worst. Science calls it contrast theory. I call it proof that the universe enjoys watching us suffer. Continue reading
The Creative Quill 